They got me y’all! It never fails. There I was, minding my own business during a layover, and once again I heard my name being called over the loud speaker being requested to check-in. I said to myself, “Check in? I’m already checked in, wth?” So I make my way over to the desk thinking I’m about to rake in some “inconvience cash” and be bumped again like I had before on a previous trip. NOPE! I arrive at the desk and give the airline employee my name and asked if something was wrong since I was already checked in. She said, “No ma’am, there’s no problem. I called you up here to offer you a seat closer to the front of the plane as we have a family that would like to sit together.” So of course I’m like OH YEAH….thinking I’m about to be one of the first of people on and off the plane because I’d be sitting up front. So, I agreed to switch my seat – as this was the highlight of my day since I was not quite ready to leave the beautiful island of Providenciales, Turks and Caicos. I looked down at the new boarding pass I was given only to notice my new seat was only THREE FREAKING ROWS ahead of my original seat, which was still in the middle of the freaking plane!
Now, this new “closer to the front of the plane” seat of mine had me seated in front of another family with three children, one crying infant and two toddlers, a boy and a girl. The infant thankfully was in the opposite row’s set of seats but well within earshot distance. That child had a pair of lungs that let out cries that could send dogs into a frenzy. My left ear is still ringing (mind you, I was wearing some Bose noise cancelling headphones). Go figure. Now the little boy behind me seemed to be having a bad day as I heard his grandfather oh so politely telling him he had not been a good boy all day and that he needed to keep still because he was kicking the back of my seat amongst other things. But this little guy was not letting up, giving grandpa a run for his money telling him he’s just a kid and that kids are supposed to have fun all the time. (Seriously, he actually said that.) But, I managed to keep my cool until…..
Folks (insert very long sigh here)…when I tell you I had an out of body experience after the first couple of kicks to the back of my seat, I literally started to count to ten to prevent myself from turning around and addressing the situation. What happened next? So glad you asked. The little boy kicked the back of my seat AGAIN, interrupting my woosah moment all while slightly thrusting my seat forward! At this point, the entire scene from the movie Kindergarten Cop ran through my mind (You know the scene where the kids are arguing and constantly bumping the back of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s seat and he turns around and snaps a pencil in half with his thumb? Yeah, that one.) Anyway, that’s literally all I could see through my now blurred vision, but then the sound of the seat belt chime snapped me back into reality and I noticed the seat in front of me was empty. My saving grace!
I politely gathered my belongings, unbuckled my seat belt, and scooted myself into the empty seat in front me all while giving that little boy my fiercest evil eye ever as I got up. Thankfully, the rest of the flight was smooth sailing.
Moral of the story: If by chance you get called to the check-in desk and are asked if you’d like to switch seats to accommodate another party…politely decline the offer. Wait, forget that…tell them HELL NAW! It’s a set up!
I digress. Woosaaaaaaaaaaaaah!